So we have an issue in the office with food being left in the fridge. In a attempt to be funny rather than stern I wrote this email to staff addressing the issue. Well, for most, it fly way above their heads. Anyway, I am sharing this here to amuse myself.
I received a memo from the occupants of the fridge demanding a minimum wage. You see some of them have been there so long that they have evolved from a simple jam in a jar, mayonnaise in a bakkie, joghurt in a small bakkie and Artist Redro (or the artist formerly known as Redro) into hair sprouting organisms with a conscience demanding compensation and better living conditions.
They also demanded the daily squatters that crowd their domain and then vacate at lunch without contributing to their local economy be barred from entry in the morning. So as representative of the owner I told them they are illegally occupying our fridge and they will be evicted.
So as all of these politically charged situations, after tense talks, I have arrange a compromise that they will be provided a safe place to stay with their former owners, alternatively I will have to forcibly remove them by Friday. So I am calling on all owners of said items to please come and collect them and return them to your respective domiciles.
This will be much appreciated since I cannot imagine the throwing of stones and burning of tires in protest will be a good site during our audit this week.