Well I wanted to wait till the 19th, being exactly 6 months, but for those of you that don’t know. I am gay!
I told Jaco van Dyk first, did not plan it, but it happened that way. Jaco my dear friend, you have been brilliant. You just looked at me and made me feel okay. Your look, your demeanor and your comforting words and your ability to listen. That talk that day, that set up the way forward. Thank you! I wish every person that comes out have a Jaco!
After him, in a marathon session of three weeks I told my close friends, my parents, my brother and a few people at work. Gossip took care of the rest.
It is never easy to come out. I was lucky. I never experience any rejection from anyone. Not many are that lucky.
The reason I am writing this note is because it is national coming out day. The Americans started it and the purpose of the day is to raise awareness of gay issues and to promote gay tolerance.
In light of this I want to write about one issue for me, choice…
People tend to tell you that they are OK with the fact that you are gay, it is your choice…
You see, I don’t really have a choice in the matter. That is what people don’t understand. I don’t have a choice. Just as you are attracted to the opposite sex, I am attracted to the same sex. No choice in the matter. That is how my wiring work.
My only choice here is one of the following:
– Embrace it and look for a life partner and found some happiness
– Ignore it and date women, marry one and destroy two lives in the proses…and never be truly happy
– Live in isolation and become a priest
– Commit suicide
I chose number one.
I would like to urge all of you that already have children or that will have children someday, to remember these choices. Speak to your children, be informed. Please, there is to many number 4 choices made sometimes by young people.
My friends, I have told you something new about me. Being gay is not who I am, it is just one aspect of me. You have not learned much, except that of my sexual preference. Please remember that before you make assumptions about a stranger that happen to be gay. Because chances are you are dead wrong. To be gay does not guarantee great interior decorating skills or musical talent or heighten fashion sense or a high pitch voice… You get the idea, none of that is true of me, so let that be your lesson…!
PS: The great thing of being gay, you are born FABULOUS!